Cycles

Post graduation is treating me well. I've gotten rest, I've eaten chocolate cheesecake (thanks Linda), I've done some much needed organizing and tidying. Inevitably, during and after such events as reorganizing things like old art, letters from friends and family, etc, you get a little bit of nostalgia. As my professor Peter Everett would call it, a sort of melancholy. What is it about memories that sometimes makes us feel, well, melancholy? Longing for past times, past friendships, renewed traditions of earlier rituals? I have always been one to hold on (maybe too long? I personally don't think so...) to people that have impacted my life. Example: the fact that I still maintain and initiate a lot of contact with past teachers. I used to visit each of my homeroom teachers in elementary school every day after school. My mom tried to kindly help me understand that they were probably busy. My teachers also politely tried to show their concern that my mom might be worried about where I was. My self-esteem was protected by my naïvety I guess because it never stopped me. Thanks to all those who still entertain these desires of mine.

These are just random thoughts that have been on my mind today. I guess what I might be getting at is just the gratitude that I feel in my heart for the people that have meant so much to me, and that continue to leave impressions on me, whether or not they are still an active part of my life. Thank you family for the happy, kind birthday cards and unfulfilled birthday gift certificates (A subject that fascinates me. Why do I always feel bad or awkward about taking up people on their gift certificate offers like free lunch, or a fun night out?) that I found today in a birthday bag that I saved for reuse later. And thank you Elizabeth Rhondeau for the intricately hand-decorated heartfelt letter you wrote to me from your study abroad to Italy. Thank you Sierra for your ever constant words of encouragement that I found stashed away in a corner of my newly reestablished painting room. Thank you Aundrea, Laura, Annie, Coryn, Enkhee for the "year of bliss" that Aundrea affectionately calls it, and for reminding me of it with literally thousands of images from said year, and from the framed photos dug out beneath big piles of papers and books. And Hannah, our fates seem to be entwined forever. I hope we always find a way to mean something to each other. There are countless others that deserve special attention here. Like parents. Like older and younger sisters. Like brothers. Like teachers. Like...like...like...

Thank you all who showed me so much love this past weekend, or who offered encouragement from afar. It is easy to over-analyze and overly criticize yourself in your work, especially when others find themselves responsible of pointing out ways you can improve. So thank you for reminding me that what I do may mean something worth while.

Now is my turn to encourage. Now is my turn to support and serve. As BYU states it, "Enter to learn, go forth to serve." I am grateful for these cycles that make my life meaningful and bright, that teach me lessons of humility, and then empowerment. I hope to now take all of the kindness showed me, and to redirect it to those under my circle of influence.

Love to you all.

xoxo

Anna